0

The Heart

|

Is massive and expansive. Once someone touches your heart a space is created for them. Over time the heart swells with the many spaces that each wonderful someone has created. Once a space exists it can never be removed nor refilled. It remains, ceaseless and expanding.

The sadness in this is that when a person who has a space leaves, for a time or forever, their space stops growing and filling your heart with more love and wonderment. I will always be thankful that those spaces will never diminish even if they do not continue to grow.

0

And another one

|

Onima is 89, has smoked since she was 20 and drinks at least 2 glasses of wine a day. But she is still super sharp. She remembers being told (some time ago) that her garage doors are made from teak and so decides to use them as a table top replacement for a glass table that had shattered. At the time of being told that these old, scruffy doors were made of teak, she says “and when he told me I thought; yes, and I am an Egyptian”.

I can only imagine the things that go on in her mind that she does not say out loud.

0

More Onima 2

|

Onima discussing a man who is annoyingly confused and irritating her… ‘He is deur die wind geslaan and he does not know if he is Wednesday or China!

0

More Onima

|

My grandmother (Onima) is discussing a book my mother has lent her. A fiction book about midwives. She tells us loudly and vehemently that she is really tired of reading about women ‘oiling their vaginas’ and please can we find her another book. Not sure what to suggest after that…

0

All about the Dogs (and why they are better than children)

|

I have a dog.. we have been together for 13 years. We understand each other. I loved her far more before my son was born (Before Birth). She was the baby, the special darling and the world revolved around her. After my son was born (After Birth (ha ha)), she fell from grace. Her barking annoyed me and woke up the baby. I did not sleep for 6 months so I really hated most things but ultimately she became a dog rather than the only child.

Fast forward 8 years…

I take my now 8 year old (human) to a dog show out in the country without Lucy (dog), as she hates all other dogs and would think a morning at a dog show pure torture. Off we set on a grey, overcast morning. After a rainy weekend we were desperate to get out so braved the continuing miserable weather. In this far flung, rural area I found a bunch of really happy and I mean REALLLLLLYYYYY happy people. Everyone was smiling. Everyone was pleasant with each other. There was much laughter and conviviality. We were made to feel welcome, like we had come home to long lost family. I have never seen such a large gathering of people that were not drunk or high that had so much love to give. And it was cold in this ass end of the world; the wind was howling and every half hour there was a chilling 10 minute downpour. And people just merrily ducked under nearest shelter as if the weather only enhanced the joy. At one point, I swear, I had tears in my eyes such was the positive and wonderful aura that filled the air.

So what made such a wonderful ambiance…DOGS. Everyone had brought their dogs; most had more than one. And with the wagging tails, happy barks and super fun dog obstacles, the furrier species had created the merriest, feelgood day.

Now, can you honestly say that you have ever seen a gathering of people, who had brought all their children that happy… I cannot say I have.

So home we turned with renewed appreciation for Lucy (and all dogs in general).

0

Why My Boyfriend Hates Me

|

Reason One

Mr Right Now and I* were talking. I want to buy a house in a certain disreputable suburb and rent it out. He suggested living in said house for a few years prior to renting it out. I scoffed.. “If I was single, 35 and living in a duplex in DisreputableArea**, I would probably kill myself.

Then it slowly dawned on me; he is single, 35 and living in that exact area.

Reason Two

I sneered my contempt for pet shops yesterday, passionately asserting that they were a veritable house of evil. He said his best friends own a pet shop. I said I was joking.

Reason Three

It’s just a matter of time for reason number three to present itself

* Clearly this is a friend of mine and not really me. I have a delicious husband.

** To prevent offense for people living in this area, it’s name has been withheld

0

Pictures

|

Met an exquisitely beautiful girl last night at dinner. Waif-like with the largest eyes. The menu arrives. Beautiful Waif Girl: “I hate menus without pictures” Ah, that is why you look so good!

0

Happy Neighbours

|

I am leaning on the kitchen counter with my back to the front door, chatting to Onima and enjoying the cool evening breeze on the backs of my bare legs. Shorts are tight but comfy; looking good, feeling fantastic. I hear my Beloved arrive home but he stays outside talking softly to someone on the phone. He is right outside the kitchen door where he can see me. So I lean further onto the counter, push my butt out and give the man a little show. Few sways, pushing my behind out.. hell yeah.. feeling sexy. I keep expecting he will end his call and come squeeze my ass… I wait and wait. Nothing. I turn around and he is not there. Confused, I walk towards the door and spot my neighbor. On his phone. He gives me a weird smile. Eish.

0

Grandmother Business

|

My grandmother is 88 – we call her Onima (no one can remember why). She is the most remarkable woman; she says it like it is, never takes any nonsense and is incredibly protective and supportive of her family. She also has the sharpest tongue. The entire family and many a friend and husband, have had a stinging tongue lashing on more than one occasion. She also has a plethora of fantastic sayings some of which I will share.

The latest entertainment:
“I am going to find a man and just pay him to put it in”. She says this aggressively at the top of her voice. About her car radio. When we snickered she glared us at and defended her right to spend her money on her car. Which she drives to the shopping centre once or twice a week. The centre is 4 minutes away from her house. Of course she needs a new CD player!